The path of the in-betweeners

We talk about “change” and how it can be tough but necessary. I do believe in the sentiment that “everything happens for a reason,” though I think it’s often up to us to identify that reason. And at the very least, an unwanted change can strengthen us or make us more empathetic for others who endure a similar situation later on.

What isn’t as talked about is the idleness between where you were and where you will be. Sort of meandering through a pool of molasses, still carrying grief but with a faint glow in the distance. Parents attend soccer games, lovers exchange vows, Magnolia trees blossom, artists release music, and the Sun falls and rises. You’re learning to crawl into a tiptoe, you trip when you run. You’re far enough from the flames that it only burns when you remember, but the opalite gates feel untouchable.

In a hurried escape (one you didn’t choose), you only had time to grab a distorted hope. Your ambition and expectations and lover and security burned down in the fire. Is hope enough a companion? Can your skillset rejuvenate onto itself? Are you enough?

You have all the time in the world, it seems, to ruminate on these questions. Only to draw the same conclusion- I don’t fucking know. Yet you trudge on at your own pace. The others stop to nourish you with water and words of encouragement and opportunities and friendship. Then you admire their steady pace.

You look back, and notice something strange but comforting. Wait, weren’t they just ahead of me? Why are they struggling? So you stall just long enough to bestow that very same water and words of encouragement and opportunity and friendship. Then you realize that flames turn to ashes, ashes help the trees grow, which in turn filter through our lungs just enough to keep us going. And you remember why you’re here. Suddenly you can walk again. You may be able to run, but it no longer matters. You’ve barely moved, but once again you have succeeded in finding what really matters. No need to walk backwards, but no need to rush. Was all of this suffering for something greater? And does one small act of kindness or empathy qualify? On your path, it does.